Conversation #24 – The Unprincipled and Venal

Greg says:

This world is full of the unprincipled and venal

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

There’s truth. Can you give me time out for five mins

Greg says:

Very well

.

.

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

[ahhhhh]

Greg says:

Eh?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Black as hell, strong as death and sweet as an angels kiss

Greg says:

I repeat – eh?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Turkish guide to good coffee – black as hell, strong as death, sweet as an angels kiss

Greg says:

Is hell particularly black? – I thought of it as more fiery. Sulphur and brimstone and that

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Hells a big place – there’s room for both I expect

Greg says:

So why pick something that’s only black in spots? You wouldn’t go for black as a leopard

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Perhaps it’s a translation thing. Either way doesn’t alter the fact that the steaming cup in front of me is black as the blacker parts of hell, strong as death and bitter as an ex-wife’s peck on the cheek

Greg says:

Needs to be snappier - the ex-wife bit ain’t bad though

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Meh. Plus irrelevant to the younger generation

Greg says:

Are we not the younger generation?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Not really.

Greg says:

I guess not – when did that happen?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Not sure to be honest – I think they must have changed the boundaries somehow

Greg says:

So 28 no longer counts as youthful?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Did it ever?

Greg says:

[sigh]

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

[sigh]

Greg says:

On the subject of which the world is full of the unprincipled and venal

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

The subject of what?

Greg says:

Square brackets [glares]

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

And how do they relate to the unprincipled and venal

Greg says:

Because you derailed this conversation with [ahhhhh] above to yammer on about Turkish coffee

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Not Turkish coffee. Turkish proverbs. The coffee is italian

Greg says:

The nationality of the coffee is irrelevant and does not effect the degree to which the world is packed with the unprincipled and venal

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

The nationality of coffee always matters. Anyhow I’ve gotta go. cu

Greg says:

You bastard

Conversation #23 – Coffee, Coffee, Coffee, Coffee

Coffee is discussed and contrasted with Evil and the capriciousness of bosses

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Coffee is not what it used to be

Greg says:

Morning Kenny and damn straight

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

?

Greg says:

It used to be crappy.. now its less crappy

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Rubbish

Greg says:

Till a few years ago it was granulated coffee or nothing

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Granulated? Very posh. We drank instant Fontelroy & make that at least eight years ago

Greg says:

Nothing posh about granulated and besides six max.

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Then came the golden age – plus there was a starbucks in Leamington in 97

Greg says:

The golden age of starbucks? – and that was brand new plus it was novelty

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

The age hath died, coffee standards have dropped

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

And it doesn’t matter if the starbucks was brand new – it was a symptom of the age.

Greg says:

You drivel – are you saying when decent coffee shops were nowhere it was a symbol of high coffee appreciation

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Yep – current coffee shops symptom you see

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

They remain like roman statues – testament to a long lost age

Greg says:

What long lost age – 97 to 05?

Greg says:

Still drivel. What has spurred this idiotic statement by the way?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Not idiotic... not drivel... and my current cup is infected with bad

Greg says:

Bad?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Bad. Just add water evil

Greg says:

And why?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Kay offered it me

Greg says:

& kay is hot?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

[shudder] worse. kay is boss

Greg says:

Your boss made you coffee?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Not exactly boss. Team leader

Greg says:

And hip with the kids?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

That kind of thing

Greg says:

but rejecting her offer of coffee would annoy?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

unpredictable. Annoy would not be good though

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

I’ve got a mini caffetiere normally. this stuff tastes like pond water

Greg says:

snob

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Hell yeah. When was the last time you drank instant?

Greg says:

I had a cup from a machine on Plymouth station. That was middle of Sept

Greg says:

Needs must – reminded me of beef soup

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Bizarre thing is she’s a snob in her own way

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Will only drink her evil out of anything but china

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Rant over.

Greg says:

And out

Conversation #22 – Big Game Hunters and Botanists

The bleakness of human existence is discussed along with suitable professions to pick-up girls.

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

You claim to be a scientist

Greg says:

Sometimes. It’s a crappy line though.

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

True. Hasn’t quite got the masculine grrr of big game hunter

Greg says:

That alienates the animal crowd though

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Lumberjack?

Greg says:

Greenies

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

How about millionaire playboy seeking stable relationship

Greg says:

Theoretically good but not hugely believable

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Not the way you dress

Greg says:

I might be able to pull off eccentric millionaire playboy

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Does that beat big game hunter?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Or unemployed bum for that matter

Greg says:

I dunno. Perhaps there’s a website

Greg says:

Did you start with a point by the way?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

I did

Greg says:

Good

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Yes

Greg says:

Do you wish to share it?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Yes

Greg says:

&?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Can’t remember

Greg says:

Good

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

I’ll get back to you

LATER

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Okay – You claim to be a scientist

Greg says:

No. Millionaire playboy me

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Wearing those shoes?

Greg says:

Eccentric millionaire

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Fine. Let us suppose you were a scientist though

Greg says:

Ok. Any particular kind?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

I’m easy. How about a botanist?

Greg says:

Very well... for purposes of this conversation I’m a botanist

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Am I going crazy or is it the whole world?

Greg says:

Woah – big question

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

No one said botany was going to be easy

Greg says:

Do you include yourself in the whole world?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Ok. Me, the whole world or the whole world excluding me?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

Look either I’m nuts or the whole of the rest of the people in this office have to be

Greg says:

This doesn’t sound good

Greg says:

Plus its more choices. How about everyone is sane and it’s the organisation that is crazy

Greg says:

I keep being told that any corporation, psychologically, would be considered a sociopath

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

You’re a botanist remember – quit with the sociology

Greg says:

Fair enough – check your boss for greenfly and get back to me

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

That’s pathetic

Greg says:

Really?

The Kenny of the Seven Veils says:

really

Greg says:

Well I’m a millionaire playboy. What do I know?

Conversation #21 – Glory and Respect

Victory is shouted from the rooftops in accordance with custom and we end not with a bang but a whimper

Greg says:

Hear this today

Greg says:

all people of all nations hear me

The Mona Kenny says:

morning

Greg says:

Sing it loud and sing it proud

The Mona Kenny says:

Oh no. no singing.

Greg says:

Are you really going to criticise my singing ability?

The Mona Kenny says:

Nope. My own.

The Mona Kenny says:

If I hear I’m going to be singing I try to be in a different room

Greg says:

On its way to epigramhood but it ain’t there yet

The Mona Kenny says:

If I was wearing my smoking jacket you’d be in real trouble bud

Greg says:

Either way we are evading the point. Shout it from the rooftops...

Greg says:

Let the heralds proclaim...

The Mona Kenny says:

Yada-yada-yada

Greg says:

We won the pub quiz!

The Mona Kenny says:

That is the wow?

Greg says:

And we didn’t cheat!

The Mona Kenny says:

That is a wow

The Mona Kenny says:

Any other entrants?

Greg says:

scores

The Mona Kenny says:

And these entrants. Anything wrong with them

Greg says:

No. and you will not ruin my day of carnival

The Mona Kenny says:

Is that a challenge?

Greg says:

Not really. In fact it’s a grown man doing a little dance

The Mona Kenny says:

And what did you win for your triumph?

Greg says:

Glory + respect + £14

The Mona Kenny says:

Was that you personally or you as a team?

Greg says:

As a team – divied up I got £3 (plus Glory and Respect)

The Mona Kenny says:

Off a stake of?

Greg says:

£1 (plus no Glory and little Respect)

The Mona Kenny says:

Basically you won a pint then

Greg says:

In London? Gotta be kidding.

Greg says:

But glory and respectwise I’m in the bank.

The Mona Kenny says:

Well congratulations then. I will contact one of my agents down there to pat you on the head

Greg says:

Thanks - but could you clap me on the back instead, the hair you know

The Mona Kenny says:

Very well. To maintain the balance you will be clapped on the back but by a kind of camp agent with a bunch of daffodils

Greg says:

You know I can’t see that boosting either my level of Glory or Respect

The Mona Kenny says:

Possibly not but Infamy-wise you’ll get a fillip

Greg says:

Maybe but I’d rate Glory and Respect over infamy any day

The Mona Kenny says:

What’s wrong with infamy?

Greg says:

Lots of people are infamous but I wouldn’t want to be them.

The Mona Kenny says:

You say that now but Casanova was infamous

Greg says:

So was john-wayne bobbit

The Mona Kenny says:

Point taken

The Mona Kenny says:

So to speak

Greg says:

[whimper]

Conversation #20 – Cheese

In which Greg rants and Kenny responds. Mildly

Greg says:

Why cheese?

The Mona Kenny says:

Good day - and why not cheese?

Greg says:

Because its rotten milk

The Mona Kenny says:

&?

Greg says:

Rotten stuff is bad

The Mona Kenny says:

But cheese is rotten milk plus – rotten stuff plus = good

Greg says:

exactly

The Mona Kenny says:

Eh?

Greg says:

You’ve got this rotten milk. It stinks enough to make you heave. Do you a) throw it out or b) scrape the skanky lumpy bits off the top, leave them to further rot and then eat them?

The Mona Kenny says:

b)

Greg says:

Are you suicidal or something?

The Mona Kenny says:

actually a)

Greg says:

I feel a punch line coming...

The Mona Kenny says:

not at all

Greg says:

so you agree with me

The Mona Kenny says:

not so much

Greg says:

but still a) throw it out

The Mona Kenny says:

yep

Greg says:

why?

The Mona Kenny says:

I leave cheese making to the experts – like plumbing and orthodontistry

Greg says:

I was thinking more along the lines of “if you were the bloke who invented cheese”

Greg says:

Like how did it get invented

Greg says:

Who in their right mind decided to take stuff that makes you vomit and make food

The Mona Kenny says:

Well that’s a bit different

The Mona Kenny says:

b)

Greg says:

and we return to the suicide question

The Mona Kenny says:

I’m adventurous

Greg says:

you’re idiotic

The Mona Kenny says:

I’d be a pioneer

Greg says:

a vomiting pioneer

The Mona Kenny says:

Think of the glory

Greg says:

a baby-belle on your tombstone?

The Mona Kenny says:

They wouldn’t call it cheese – they’d call it kenny

Greg says:

As in “one whiff of Kenny makes me vomit”?

The Mona Kenny says:

As in – whenever I go abroad I miss English Kenny

The Mona Kenny says:

Gotta go

Greg says:

Cheerio

Conversation #19 – Fair trade

In which insults are traded and Greg is lumbered with the moral high ground

Greg says:

Oi

The Mona Kenny says:

Oi what?

Greg says:

Oi you!

The Mona Kenny says:

Idiot

Greg says:

twerp

The Mona Kenny says:

cretin

Greg says:

Darn fool

The Mona Kenny says:

remnant

Greg says:

Louse farmer

Greg says:

Remnant?

The Mona Kenny says:

revenant

Greg says:

That would make more sense

The Mona Kenny says:

Than louse farmer?

Greg says:

than remnant

The Mona Kenny says:

I didn’t say of what

Greg says:

lack of correct qualification doesn’t justify the rubbish you spout

The Mona Kenny says:

Its better.. leaves the insult open

Greg says:

To criticism?

The Mona Kenny says:

imagination. Nothing as scary as the dark

Greg says:

it isn’t dark

The Mona Kenny says:

Damn.

Greg says:

Also I am unimaginative, prosaic, and close-minded

The Mona Kenny says:

true

Greg says:

you, however, are a remnant

The Mona Kenny says:

and cursed with imagination

Greg says:

kind of a backhanded compliment really

The Mona Kenny says:

But you didn’t say of what

Greg says:

No. but it implies I think you are creative enough to fill in the gaps

The Mona Kenny says:

But I am

Greg says:

You’re really not

The Mona Kenny says:

I fill in gaps like a master gapsmith

Greg says:

Ill educated too. Smiths make stuff. Gapsmiths create gaps

The Mona Kenny says:

Silversmiths make stuff from silver, goldsmiths from gold. Gapsmiths raw material is gaps.

Greg says:

Gunsmiths make guns.

The Mona Kenny says:

Exception to prove the rule

Greg says:

Blacksmiths don’t make stuff from black

The Mona Kenny says:

Actually they make stuff from black metal the counterpoint being whitesmiths that make stuff from white metal

Greg says:

Are you wikipeding or something?

The Mona Kenny says:

No. I just knew that

Greg says:

Perhaps you’d like to explain what white and black metal is

The Mona Kenny says:

no

Greg says:

No?

The Mona Kenny says:

no.

Greg says:

In that case I will claim the moral high ground in this argument

The Mona Kenny says:

Keep it - its rubbish

Greg says:

I dunno. Its picturesque enough

The Mona Kenny says:

Its lonely and windy and smells kind of funny

Greg says:

Least there aren’t any flies

The Mona Kenny says:

Aren’t any bars either

Greg says:

None?

The Mona Kenny says:

Absolutely. Fear I’ve gotta get back to work

Greg says:

Ta-ra then