Conversation #20 – Cheese

In which Greg rants and Kenny responds. Mildly

Greg says:

Why cheese?

The Mona Kenny says:

Good day - and why not cheese?

Greg says:

Because its rotten milk

The Mona Kenny says:

&?

Greg says:

Rotten stuff is bad

The Mona Kenny says:

But cheese is rotten milk plus – rotten stuff plus = good

Greg says:

exactly

The Mona Kenny says:

Eh?

Greg says:

You’ve got this rotten milk. It stinks enough to make you heave. Do you a) throw it out or b) scrape the skanky lumpy bits off the top, leave them to further rot and then eat them?

The Mona Kenny says:

b)

Greg says:

Are you suicidal or something?

The Mona Kenny says:

actually a)

Greg says:

I feel a punch line coming...

The Mona Kenny says:

not at all

Greg says:

so you agree with me

The Mona Kenny says:

not so much

Greg says:

but still a) throw it out

The Mona Kenny says:

yep

Greg says:

why?

The Mona Kenny says:

I leave cheese making to the experts – like plumbing and orthodontistry

Greg says:

I was thinking more along the lines of “if you were the bloke who invented cheese”

Greg says:

Like how did it get invented

Greg says:

Who in their right mind decided to take stuff that makes you vomit and make food

The Mona Kenny says:

Well that’s a bit different

The Mona Kenny says:

b)

Greg says:

and we return to the suicide question

The Mona Kenny says:

I’m adventurous

Greg says:

you’re idiotic

The Mona Kenny says:

I’d be a pioneer

Greg says:

a vomiting pioneer

The Mona Kenny says:

Think of the glory

Greg says:

a baby-belle on your tombstone?

The Mona Kenny says:

They wouldn’t call it cheese – they’d call it kenny

Greg says:

As in “one whiff of Kenny makes me vomit”?

The Mona Kenny says:

As in – whenever I go abroad I miss English Kenny

The Mona Kenny says:

Gotta go

Greg says:

Cheerio

Conversation #19 – Fair trade

In which insults are traded and Greg is lumbered with the moral high ground

Greg says:

Oi

The Mona Kenny says:

Oi what?

Greg says:

Oi you!

The Mona Kenny says:

Idiot

Greg says:

twerp

The Mona Kenny says:

cretin

Greg says:

Darn fool

The Mona Kenny says:

remnant

Greg says:

Louse farmer

Greg says:

Remnant?

The Mona Kenny says:

revenant

Greg says:

That would make more sense

The Mona Kenny says:

Than louse farmer?

Greg says:

than remnant

The Mona Kenny says:

I didn’t say of what

Greg says:

lack of correct qualification doesn’t justify the rubbish you spout

The Mona Kenny says:

Its better.. leaves the insult open

Greg says:

To criticism?

The Mona Kenny says:

imagination. Nothing as scary as the dark

Greg says:

it isn’t dark

The Mona Kenny says:

Damn.

Greg says:

Also I am unimaginative, prosaic, and close-minded

The Mona Kenny says:

true

Greg says:

you, however, are a remnant

The Mona Kenny says:

and cursed with imagination

Greg says:

kind of a backhanded compliment really

The Mona Kenny says:

But you didn’t say of what

Greg says:

No. but it implies I think you are creative enough to fill in the gaps

The Mona Kenny says:

But I am

Greg says:

You’re really not

The Mona Kenny says:

I fill in gaps like a master gapsmith

Greg says:

Ill educated too. Smiths make stuff. Gapsmiths create gaps

The Mona Kenny says:

Silversmiths make stuff from silver, goldsmiths from gold. Gapsmiths raw material is gaps.

Greg says:

Gunsmiths make guns.

The Mona Kenny says:

Exception to prove the rule

Greg says:

Blacksmiths don’t make stuff from black

The Mona Kenny says:

Actually they make stuff from black metal the counterpoint being whitesmiths that make stuff from white metal

Greg says:

Are you wikipeding or something?

The Mona Kenny says:

No. I just knew that

Greg says:

Perhaps you’d like to explain what white and black metal is

The Mona Kenny says:

no

Greg says:

No?

The Mona Kenny says:

no.

Greg says:

In that case I will claim the moral high ground in this argument

The Mona Kenny says:

Keep it - its rubbish

Greg says:

I dunno. Its picturesque enough

The Mona Kenny says:

Its lonely and windy and smells kind of funny

Greg says:

Least there aren’t any flies

The Mona Kenny says:

Aren’t any bars either

Greg says:

None?

The Mona Kenny says:

Absolutely. Fear I’ve gotta get back to work

Greg says:

Ta-ra then

Conversation #12 – A word named Yoink

In which the word yoink is discussed and we never quite obtain a satisfactory reason why

Greg says:

yoink

A Kenny by any other name says:

How do you mean

Greg says:

Yoink is what I mean

A Kenny by any other name says:

Ah. Yoink

A Kenny by any other name says:

But doesn’t yoink imply action?

A Kenny by any other name says:

Some sort of cheeky form of theft?

A Kenny by any other name says:

Your statement is incomplete is my point

Greg says:

Impish reassignment of property might be a better way of putting it

A Kenny by any other name says:

As the yoinkee I’m gonna stick with the theft version thanks

Greg says:

Bah

Greg says:

And who said you were the yoinkee?

A Kenny by any other name says:

Well if not I then who?

Greg says:

Don’t you mean whom?

A Kenny by any other name says:

I neither know nor care. Answer the question or be gnawed by hungry hungry hippos

Greg says:

I don’t accept the premise is my point

A Kenny by any other name says:

?

Greg says:

That all yoinks must have a victim.

A Kenny by any other name says:

Well maybe minor yoinks may be victimless but this is significant

Greg says:

Since when?

A Kenny by any other name says:

You bother me with trifles?

Greg says:

Eh?

A Kenny by any other name says:

Why IM me if it was of no significance

Greg says:

The yoink needed to enter the public domain

A Kenny by any other name says:

Yet wasn’t important?

Greg says:

Not in its origin

A Kenny by any other name says:

In its symbolism?

Greg says:

In personal significance

Greg says:

Now de-yoinked I feel cleansed!

A Kenny by any other name says:

git

Greg says:

And you

MANIFESTO: Banter

A fair few blogs seem to claim the tag 'banter'
Well I've always been of the impression that banter implies some kind of exchange.
Chambers supports me
The OED supports me
Even Dictionary.com supports me

Banter
noun
1.
an exchange of light, playful, teasing remarks; good-natured raillery.

Anyway thats what this blog does.
Duologue
True banter
Yakety yak

We produce it because we are bored.
You read it for much the same reason I would guess
And the world keeps turning

G

Conversation #11 – Pomegranates and Pineapples

In which we learn of explosive fruit and the vicissitudes of Generation X

Greg says:

they found a grenade just down our road last week

A Kenny by any other name says:

an old one, or fresh?

Greg says:

fresh one assumes. either way they scoffed it right down

A Kenny by any other name says:

what? now I'

A Kenny by any other name says:

m just confuse.d

Greg says:

Were there points when you weren't?

A Kenny by any other name says:

some, but I was probably wrong about those.

Greg says:

or possibly was confused at the time

A Kenny by any other name says:

yes...

Greg says:

Which begs a question about the times when you were confused

A Kenny by any other name says:

…this grenade

Greg says:

There was something about one of the neighbours referring to it as a pineapple and another just having arrived here and not used to English idioms…

A Kenny by any other name says:

What do you mean pineapple?

Greg says:

Term for a grenade.

A Kenny by any other name says:

Get out of here

Greg says:

Honest

A Kenny by any other name says:

Honest what?

Greg says:

Pineapple=grenade

A Kenny by any other name says:

So

Greg says:

So pineapples are called grenades

A Kenny by any other name says:

No they aren’t

Greg says:

All right then grenades are called pineapples

A Kenny by any other name says:

Get out of here

Greg says:

But I like it

A Kenny by any other name says:

We need the space

Greg says:

How about I breath in?

A Kenny by any other name says:

That air’s ours. Expel it and get out

Greg says:

Fine

A Kenny by any other name says:

Fine

Greg says:

I’m gone

A Kenny by any other name says:

I still hear you

Greg says:

No you can’t

A Kenny by any other name says:

Well metaphorically

Greg says:

Oh well. metaphorically

A Kenny by any other name says:

Still see you then

Greg says:

Would it help if I un-bolded my font

A Kenny by any other name says:

You’re just being silly now

Greg says:

I blush from the shame

A Kenny by any other name says:

As is appropriate

Greg says:

Grenade is etymologically derived from pomegranate!

A Kenny by any other name says:

Nghuh? Where did that come from?

Greg says:

Wikipedia

A Kenny by any other name says:

Not the knowledge – the connection

Greg says:

The conversation needed lightening

A Kenny by any other name says:

I thought we were tackling vital issues

Greg says:

A shift of focus - pomegranetes

A Kenny by any other name says:

Well I never

Greg says:

nor you do

Greg says:

Something about French grenades being packed with ball bearings like p seeds

A Kenny by any other name says:

Those little scamps

A Kenny by any other name says:

This doesn’t alter th e fact that you have still failed to get out .

Greg says:

Maybe not

Greg says:

But its deflected your attention

A Kenny by any other name says:

That’s the problem with genXers

Greg says:

No concentration

A Kenny by any other name says:

No concentration

Greg says:

Different in our day

A Kenny by any other name says:

true

Greg says:

true

A Kenny by any other name says:

When was that?

Greg says:

You know I’m not sure

A Kenny by any other name says:

We had one though didn’t we?

Greg says:

Must have done

A Kenny by any other name says:

And we concentrated in it

Greg says:

Sounds like GCSE to me

A Kenny by any other name says:

I concentrated in my fresher year

Greg says:

Me too

A Kenny by any other name says:

When necessary

A Kenny by any other name says:

And I wasn’t drunk

Greg says:

Not that much really

A Kenny by any other name says:

But more than I am now

Greg says:

Much more?

A Kenny by any other name says:

Dunno. But definitely more

Greg says:

Gotta go

A Kenny by any other name says:

Cheerio