Industrially reclaimed chat steamed from the carcass of communication
In which we learn of explosive fruit and the vicissitudes of Generation X
Greg says:
they found a grenade just down our road last week
A Kenny by any other name says:
an old one, or fresh?
Greg says:
fresh one assumes. either way they scoffed it right down
A Kenny by any other name says:
what? now I'
A Kenny by any other name says:
m just confuse.d
Greg says:
Were there points when you weren't?
A Kenny by any other name says:
some, but I was probably wrong about those.
Greg says:
or possibly was confused at the time
A Kenny by any other name says:
yes...
Greg says:
Which begs a question about the times when you were confused
A Kenny by any other name says:
…this grenade
Greg says:
There was something about one of the neighbours referring to it as a pineapple and another just having arrived here and not used to English idioms…
A Kenny by any other name says:
What do you mean pineapple?
Greg says:
Term for a grenade.
A Kenny by any other name says:
Get out of here
Greg says:
Honest
A Kenny by any other name says:
Honest what?
Greg says:
Pineapple=grenade
A Kenny by any other name says:
So
Greg says:
So pineapples are called grenades
A Kenny by any other name says:
No they aren’t
Greg says:
All right then grenades are called pineapples
A Kenny by any other name says:
Get out of here
Greg says:
But I like it
A Kenny by any other name says:
We need the space
Greg says:
How about I breath in?
A Kenny by any other name says:
That air’s ours. Expel it and get out
Greg says:
Fine
A Kenny by any other name says:
Fine
Greg says:
I’m gone
A Kenny by any other name says:
I still hear you
Greg says:
No you can’t
A Kenny by any other name says:
Well metaphorically
Greg says:
Oh well. metaphorically
A Kenny by any other name says:
Still see you then
Greg says:
Would it help if I un-bolded my font
A Kenny by any other name says:
You’re just being silly now
Greg says:
I blush from the shame
A Kenny by any other name says:
As is appropriate
Greg says:
Grenade is etymologically derived from pomegranate!
A Kenny by any other name says:
Nghuh? Where did that come from?
Greg says:
Wikipedia
A Kenny by any other name says:
Not the knowledge – the connection
Greg says:
The conversation needed lightening
A Kenny by any other name says:
I thought we were tackling vital issues
Greg says:
A shift of focus - pomegranetes
A Kenny by any other name says:
Well I never
Greg says:
nor you do
Greg says:
Something about French grenades being packed with ball bearings like p seeds
A Kenny by any other name says:
Those little scamps
A Kenny by any other name says:
This doesn’t alter th e fact that you have still failed to get out .
Greg says:
Maybe not
Greg says:
But its deflected your attention
A Kenny by any other name says:
That’s the problem with genXers
Greg says:
No concentration
A Kenny by any other name says:
No concentration
Greg says:
Different in our day
A Kenny by any other name says:
true
Greg says:
true
A Kenny by any other name says:
When was that?
Greg says:
You know I’m not sure
A Kenny by any other name says:
We had one though didn’t we?
Greg says:
Must have done
A Kenny by any other name says:
And we concentrated in it
Greg says:
Sounds like GCSE to me
A Kenny by any other name says:
I concentrated in my fresher year
Greg says:
Me too
A Kenny by any other name says:
When necessary
A Kenny by any other name says:
And I wasn’t drunk
Greg says:
Not that much really
A Kenny by any other name says:
But more than I am now
Greg says:
Much more?
A Kenny by any other name says:
Dunno. But definitely more
Greg says:
Gotta go
A Kenny by any other name says:
Cheerio
A Kenny by any other name says:
Hey boy!
Greg says:
What?…
Greg says:
And don’t call me boy
A Kenny by any other name says:
I’ve got a new phone
Greg says:
How delightful
A Kenny by any other name says:
Thought you’d be pleased
Greg says:
Ecstatic
A Kenny by any other name says:
Its got better ringtones than the last one
Greg says:
Better than a howling wolf. Be still my heart
A Kenny by any other name says:
Better than two howling wolves. And louder
Greg says:
Louder? Well I did say that was the problem with your old one
A Kenny by any other name says:
Me too.
Greg says:
And besides the sonic boom is its funk upgraded in any other respects
A Kenny by any other name says:
Well obviously loud is the main thing
Greg says:
Obviously
A Kenny by any other name says:
But apart from that not really
Greg says:
Keeps the money in circulation I guess
A Kenny by any other name says:
It looks newer
Greg says:
A depressingly significant point
A Kenny by any other name says:
There’s no point talking to you about this is there?
Greg says:
Dunno. Using messenger and mobile phones
Greg says:
To bore someone to death has got to be some kind of first
A Kenny by any other name says:
luddite
Greg says:
I’d say more hermit than luddite but have it your own way
A Kenny by any other name says:
Good. In that case you can appraise PCs .
A Kenny by any other name says:
http://www.ebuyer.com/UK/product/116034/rb/21996404782
A Kenny by any other name says:
any thoughts?
Greg says:
hold onn
Greg says:
John is your man for this really. or for that matter Jack or Jim
Greg says:
That doesn't look to have any significant downsides though
A Kenny by any other name says:
no, looks ok to me. just need something that will run programmes less that ten years old and have sound.
Greg says:
Then yes. But ask someone who knows about the graphics card.
A Kenny by any other name says:
a what now?
Greg says:
64MB / 256MB VGA Onboard
Greg says:
Graphics Cards allow such wonderful things as games
A Kenny by any other name says:
I've heard of these.
Greg says:
If you ain't worried about games then a really cheap card is fine
Greg says:
but i don't know just how cheap that one is
A Kenny by any other name says:
well. you know me. as long as it runs the game, I probably wouldn't notice the picture qaulity.
Greg says:
nah. its about game speed but as I said I don't know squat about this more than its my video card that prevents me getting modern games
A Kenny by any other name says:
i see. well i'm still amazed I can run CivIII on mine.
Greg says:
I'm regarding it as something of a miracle every time mine stays on long enough for me to turn it off rather than crash at the moment
Greg says:
if I should go without warning it (probably) isn't something you should take personally
A Kenny by any other name says:
don't worry. I'll interpret it as best as I can.
Greg says:
What are you doing with your old phone?
A Kenny by any other name says:
Aha… not so cynical now eh?
Greg says:
Yeah, yeah. I just fancy the indestructibility of your one
A Kenny by any other name says:
Designed by lummoxes for lummoxes
Greg says:
Plus the spirit level factor. Ooh I’m coming over quite flushed.
A Kenny by any other name says:
Calm down – the thermometer’s rubbish
Greg says:
Thermometer! Does it have a spike for getting stones out of horses hooves?
A Kenny by any other name says:
Strangely no but it does have an all purpose spike
Greg says:
For getting rid of the horses themselves
A Kenny by any other name says:
Far more versatile
Greg says:
Plus works on other species
A Kenny by any other name says:
A bit small for elephants is my guess
Greg says:
That probably rules out hippos, rhinos, walruses and whales then
A Kenny by any other name says:
Do whales have significant problems with stones in their hooves?
Greg says:
I dunno.
A Kenny by any other name says:
Wikipedia has nothing
Greg says:
Hardly proof that they don’t though
A Kenny by any other name says:
Well what would you accept as proof?
Greg says:
Again I say - I dunno.
A Kenny by any other name says:
falsificationists – always with the problems never with the solutions
Greg says:
Google has 92,300 results for Whale Hoof Stone
A Kenny by any other name says:
What are the chances that none of them are about stones getting stuck in whale hooves?
Greg says:
Got to be pretty small
A Kenny by any other name says:
Tiny I'd say
Greg says:
Stranger things have happened
A Kenny by any other name says:
But not many
Greg says:
Very true
A Kenny by any other name says:
Pending further information let us assume the positive then
Greg says:
Very well. Gotta go I fear
A Kenny by any other name says:
Cheerio
The Hyperkenny says:
Life is full of woe
Greg says:
And noted for it
The Hyperkenny says:
That Schopenhauer knew what he was on about
Greg says:
Similarly kirkegaard
The Hyperkenny says:
Was kirkegarrd miserable?
Greg says:
Quite possibly.
Greg says:
What is it that has you in a tis
The Hyperkenny says:
Not a tis. Catastrophe, heartbreak, dudgeon. This is serious. She’s married
Greg says:
she?
The Hyperkenny says:
Sarah
The Hyperkenny says:
From the train
Greg says:
Ah. So you ceased transcending long enough to find out her name.
The Hyperkenny says:
Yeah. Kind of wish I’d kept going though
Greg says:
Doesn’t she wear her ring then?
The Hyperkenny says:
Of course she does
Greg says:
Doesn’t have to be of course. Some people don’t
The Hyperkenny says:
Bull. Name seven
Greg says:
I dunno and before you go further I can see your game pal
The Hyperkenny says:
Game?
Greg says:
Don’t give me that.
Greg says:
You’re trying to get me to say that women not wearing rings tell me they’re married
The Hyperkenny says:
I don’t know what you are on about
The Hyperkenny says:
Wgich I suspect makes two of us
Greg says:
So if she wears her ring how come you didn’t know
The Hyperkenny says:
Bah. Finger non-remembrance type thing
Greg says:
Third finger – left hand
The Hyperkenny says:
Well yeah I know that now
Greg says:
What was she like
The Hyperkenny says:
Fascinating legs, hypnotic nose, With regards personality the only true goddess naturally.
Greg says:
So what’s wrong with her
The Hyperkenny says:
She’s married. Isn’t that enough?
Greg says:
For a normal person yes.
The Hyperkenny says:
And just what are you implying
Greg says:
Think of it not so much as implying and more as extrapolating
The Hyperkenny says:
Extrapolating from what?
Greg says:
Erica.
The Hyperkenny says:
Not my finest hour but you’ll need more than that
Greg says:
I don’t see why but Catherine was still going out with thingy when you wooed
The Hyperkenny says:
a) it was almost over b)the wooage was mutual and c) thingy was a dick.
Greg says:
His being a dick doesn’t change his horns
The Hyperkenny says:
What the hell does that mean?
Greg says:
What - horns? Indicative of cuckoldry
The Hyperkenny says:
hurrumph
Greg says:
You stole his girl
The Hyperkenny says:
I guess that’s true
Greg says:
Still he was a dick so who cares
The Hyperkenny says:
An act of mercy really
Greg says:
Preservation of the species
The Hyperkenny says:
Proactively ensuring the genetic inferiority of dicks
Greg says:
You should really get a medal
The Hyperkenny says:
Or perhaps some kind of plaque
Greg says:
So what was wrong with train girl?
The Hyperkenny says:
She points at you when she talks.
Greg says:
She doesn’t even know me
The Hyperkenny says:
Nevertheless
Greg says:
Does she carry some sort of compass
The Hyperkenny says:
No – 100% instinct. Just stands there wagging her finger in the general direction of north
Greg says:
Uncanny
The Hyperkenny says:
You said it
Greg says:
And kind of scary
The Hyperkenny says:
Certainly enough to put a lad off his stroke
Greg says:
Yarr. Zhud. Yak. Fadadah
The Hyperkenny says:
And with that image I leave you
Greg says:
[Attempts to scrape image out of head using a fish slice]
The Hyperkenny says:
Why have you got a fish slice at your desk?
The Hyperkenny says:
We’ve got a letter for you
Greg says:
sher-der-whur
The Hyperkenny says:
I SAID A LETTER
Greg says:
All right – all right – I’m awa..
Greg says:
Did you say a letter?
The Hyperkenny says:
we've had a letter for you that I signed for but haven't got round to sending on. are you expecting anything?
Greg says:
Yes. Curses. They said they'd send it here
Greg says:
I've been without money ever since moving out cos my cashcard split
The Hyperkenny says:
if you go to the bank they will send tyou a new one. Mine finally gave up last week.
The Hyperkenny says:
have you managed by staying in?
Greg says:
they have sent me a new one
Greg says:
they asked for my address
Greg says:
i gave here
Greg says:
they said fine they'd send it here only plainly they didn’t
Greg says:
curse their stinking faces
The Hyperkenny says:
ah. that explains it.
The Hyperkenny says:
want me to pop it in the post to you, then?
Greg says:
yes please
The Hyperkenny says:
address?
Greg says:
I finally gave in today and borrowed some cash to get my suit cleaned but otherwise yeah. no money at all
The Hyperkenny says:
ouch.
Greg says:
23
The Hyperkenny says:
right shall do.
Greg says:
Thanks. Next item of business
The Hyperkenny says:
I’m looking at new computers. any advice on where to buy?
Greg says:
Not really. I do software. Hardware is more the
Greg says:
On the subject of Jim I have another gosh darned wedding on Saturday.
The Hyperkenny says:
Hence the suit.
Greg says:
Hence the suit .
The Hyperkenny says:
Friends or relatives?
Greg says:
Friends. But friends so old they blend kind of thing
The Hyperkenny says:
Gotcha
Greg says:
Add to that that he’s a vicar and you have one hell of a jamboree
The Hyperkenny says:
Arch-deacons being delivered by airdrop?
Greg says:
With supplies of dehydrated cassocks
The Hyperkenny says:
do you get to dance?
Greg says:
In general or specific? Heaven knows. My mum said that the evening is being rounded off with a discotheque so lord alone knows what that will be
The Hyperkenny says:
YMCA alert!
Greg says:
Not impossible.
The Hyperkenny says:
So YMCA done by the various branches of muscular Chistianity?
Greg says:
I think they might be keeping the homo-erotic iconography to a minimum; at least till after the honeymoon
Greg says:
Still a can-can line of priests or possibly a conga line led by a bishop might be cool
The Hyperkenny says:
just one bishop to lead the conga will be fine. Mitre are good for that.
Greg says:
Perhaps a couple of butch young roller skating priests with censors to clear the path
The Hyperkenny says:
is the reception being held somewhere with a nave?
Greg says:
i fear somewhere with tressle tables and a map of the holyland done in poster paint but I may be wrong
The Hyperkenny says:
wow.
You think you are funny and clever - but I believe that debate should be restarined and controlled. By the state with force if needed!